Hugs, History, and Handmade Shirts: Raymond’s Journey in the Bear Scene and Fashion

For nearly 30 years, Raymond has been a cornerstone of the Bear community, remaining one of its original members who is still actively involved today. Having witnessed the club’s evolution, through both its highs and challenges, Raymond’s deep connection to the group is evident. His friendship with the late Jack Chapman is just one of the many meaningful bonds that have shaped his journey, and it’s clear that his commitment to the community remains as strong as ever.

While Raymond’s history is rich with memories, he’s also making waves in a new creative realm: fashion. Over the past few years, Raymond has found an artistic outlet through designing and sewing his own colourful shirts, showcasing them on Instagram. What started as a personal hobby has now captured the attention of many, with his bold designs standing out for their unique style and vibrant colours. It’s a fresh chapter in his life, reflecting the same energy and passion that have defined his long-standing involvement in the Bear community.

Today, as Raymond balances his deep ties to the Bear scene with his passion for design, his journey is a testament to how creativity and connection can continue to shape our lives at any age.

Luka Musicki (L.M.): How did you first become involved with the Bear community, and what drew you in?

Raymond Lee (R.L.): I first got involved in the Bear community back in the 90s, back when the internet was just a distant dream. I’d occasionally pop into the Laird, and I started hearing whispers about this new club forming. They were meeting on Monday nights—typically the quietest night at the Laird—so it felt like a perfect, low-key place to connect. From the moment I walked in, I just knew these were my people. There was an instant sense of belonging that hooked me right from the start

What’s been the most memorable moment for you in all these years of involvement?

Over the years, I’ve been involved in so many aspects of the club—everything from running Trivia Nights at the Grampians to competing in the Mr. VicBears competition. But the standout moment for me was definitely performing in the play Manboobs, written by Julian Jimenez and directed by Jack Chapman. It was an intense two-man show with myself and Phil Webster, and we ended up running to mostly sold-out crowds. What made it so unforgettable was the emotional impact it had on the audience. Every performance ended with the crowd in tears—it was powerful, raw, and truly something special.

Being one of the original members still active today, how have you seen the Bear scene change over the years?

The Bear scene has gone through many distinct eras, each with its own vibe. In the early days, we were cautious, just figuring out what worked and what didn’t. There was a lot of trial and error with events as we explored what resonated with the group. Then, with the rise of the internet, came a bold expansion. The club grew, and we started connecting with other Bear clubs across Australia, which opened up a whole new world. Today, things have settled into a more relaxed feel. With greater acceptance of being gay, the need for a protective community has lessened, and now it’s more about just enjoying the company of like-minded people.

What do you think has kept you so connected to the club all these years?

What’s kept me connected all these years is my strong belief in the Bear community. It’s more than just a fetish or preference—it’s a family. There’s still a space in the gay community for bigger, hairier men (and those who love them) to come together. But beyond that, I believe we’re stronger when we support each other. Together, we can do more—whether that’s lifting each other up, advocating for our place in the broader community, or just showing up for one another when it counts.

How has your role in the Bear community evolved over the years, and how do you see yourself contributing now?

Over the years, my role in the Bear community has evolved quite a bit. I started out as an enthusiastic contributor, always eager to get involved. Over time, I became a vocal supporter, someone who showed up consistently and pitched in wherever needed. Now, I see myself as an elder statesman of the group—still committed to the community, always ready to lend a hand or offer advice when asked. I’ll always show up, ready to join in and help keep the spirit of the community strong.

Can you tell us a bit about your friendship with Jack Chapman and how it impacted your life?

Jack came into the scene when he was barely 18, incredibly intelligent, and already well-versed in all things Bear before he even showed up. We quickly became best friends, just enjoying each other’s company and hanging out. One of his passions was classic cinema, so we’d often watch films together—he was always eager to learn.

Jack was a vital member of not just the Bear community, but the entire gay community. He’d regularly volunteer for things like the periodic men’s health survey run by the VAC (now Thorne Harbour Health). But despite his wisdom and involvement, he was still very much a kid at heart. Having lost his father at a young age, I became his surrogate big brother, looking out for him. Even though he was brilliant and enthusiastic, sometimes the basics of life were a challenge for him, and I was always there to help guide him

How has Jack’s passing affected you personally, and what do you hope people will remember most about him?

The people who knew Jack will always remember him for who he was and what he did. It’s a shame that newer members of the community never had the chance to meet him. For me, though, it’s like losing a brother. When he moved to the USA, I knew things were changing, but I always held onto the hope that he would come back, and things would return to the way they were.

Since his passing, I’ve made it my mission to look after his family—his grandmother, mother, and brother. We’ve made it a tradition to celebrate Christmas together, and every year we host a well-known Halloween party with hundreds of kids in attendance. It’s my way of keeping his memory alive and making sure his family feels the same support and love he always gave to others.

Throughout your time with the club, you’ve been involved in a few controversies.  What lessons did you learn from these experiences, and how have they shaped the way you approach the community today?

Looking back, I took the outcomes of those events very harshly at the time and reacted based on what I thought was right. I had a deep connection to the club—it was a big part of my identity. But over the years, I’ve learned to take a step back and breathe. Many people have come and gone, and the issues that felt so significant at the time don’t seem as important in hindsight. I’ve come to realize that it’s better to approach things with patience and perspective, especially when it comes to something I care about so deeply.  

What inspired you to start sewing and designing your colourful shirts?

It all started with a desire to create fancy dress outfits for bear events. At first, they were pretty basic, but they gave me the freedom to be creative. Over time, I realized that some of the patterns I was working with could actually be used for everyday clothes, so I began designing shirts and overalls. From there, my curiosity took over, and I started experimenting with different fabrics, patterns, and colours. I was lucky to get invaluable assistance from my friend Steve (the amazingly talented @fathersewsbest on Instagram), whose guidance and expertise have been a huge part of my journey into sewing and design. 

Your shirts are known for their bold designs. Where do you draw your inspiration from when creating them?  

Funny enough, it all started with economy. I’d dig through bargain bins, hunting for the cheapest fabrics, and then challenge myself to make them work. I’d often find odd patterns and try to figure out how to incorporate them into something wearable. Some of my favourite shirts came from patterns you’d never expect to see on a shirt. Now, I’m always on the lookout for unusual or unconventional patterns and think, ‘Can I make this work?’ It’s about pushing boundaries and having fun with fabric.

Where can people see your work online?  What kind of response have you gotten so far?

You can find my work on Instagram under the handle ‘Raybearoz.’ People seem to love the unique and sometimes quirky combinations of patterns I put together, along with the other costumes I create. The response has been really positive, and I’ve even had a few offers to purchase my pieces. But for now, I’m still reluctant to let any go—each one feels like a part of my creative journey, and I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to them just yet!”

Do you have any future plans or big goals for your shirt designs or your Instagram presence?

Who knows what the future holds? For now, I’m still learning and experimenting, seeing where my designs can go. I’d love to maybe do an exhibit one day—that would be fun! But for me, it’s all about enjoying the process and not taking it too seriously. The joy of creating is what keeps me going, and whatever comes next will just be part of the adventure..

You seem to dye your beard various colours, care to talk more?

By my early forties, my beard started turning salt and pepper, and I felt like it made me look older—not in the good way! So, I started playing with the colour, switching it up from bold purple to the ginger you usually see me sporting now. But keep an eye out around Christmas—that’s when it goes completely white for a certain, well, you know who!

What is your taste in music like?

My taste in music is pretty split. On one side, I love music that makes me feel something deep—those strong, emotive lyrics. Performers like Cyndi Lauper really embody the emotion of their songs, and one of my absolute favourites is ‘The Origin of Love’ from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, written by John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask. The message in that song always gets me right in the heart.

On the flip side, when it comes to dance music, I’m all about that 90s vibe. I can’t resist a bop with fun lyrics that just get you moving. If ‘Gonna Make You Sweat’ by C&C Music Factory or ‘Beautiful Life’ by Ace of Base comes on, you better get out of my way—I’m dancing!

Some of your posts show a large spa in your back yard.  It looks very inviting.  What Celebrity (alive or otherwise) would you invite to join you?

Yeah, the spa’s called ‘Bubbly Betty’—she’s hosted more than a few good parties over the years. And there’s always room for more beefy men to join the fun!

As for which celebrity I’d invite, the first name that comes to mind is Brian Blessed. The man is larger than life, in every sense. He’s not only a fantastic, classically trained actor with a booming voice that could make reading the phone book sound epic, but he’s also an accomplished explorer. He’s scaled Mount Everest at least three times and was the oldest man to reach the magnetic north on foot. Oh, and apparently, he punched a polar bear on the nose—what a legend!

We’ve talked about your hobbies, but what’s your career path like? Do your professional and personal interests align in any way?

I’ve had a variety of jobs over the years—from Garbage Collector and Lifeguard to Swimming Instructor and Masseur. Right now, I’m balancing two careers: weekdays I work in the financial services sector for a large company, combining IT with my knowledge of the superannuation industry, and on weekends, I work at a family-owned timber yard.

Both roles have helped me develop strong customer service skills and a real focus on teamwork, but there’s not much of a creative outlet in either. That’s where my hobbies come in—they provide the perfect balance, letting me express myself in ways my work can’t.  The closest that they intersect is when I wear my crazy shirts into the office.

What do you hope the Bear community will look like in the next 5-10 years, and how do you see yourself contributing to that future?

I hope to see the Bear community continue to thrive with the same strength it has today. There will always be a need for a space where people who don’t fit the stereotypical gay look can feel welcomed, valued, and truly part of something meaningful.  I’m confident that will remain a core part of the community.

As for me, I’ll still be here, ready to pitch in whenever I can—whether that’s helping out or just offering a very strong bear hug!

For people looking up to you—whether in the Bear community or in fashion—what advice do you have for staying true to yourself?

This is a tough question to answer, because staying true to yourself requires really knowing who you are—and sometimes that takes a long time. Don’t be too hard on yourself; we don’t come with an instruction manual that gives us all the answers. The journey is about moving forward and learning as we go.

At the same time, it’s important to remember that others are on their own journeys too. We need to be there to support them when they stumble, and hope they’ll do the same for us when we need it.

I don’t know myself yet. I’m 50 years old and still learning. But I am enjoying the journey.

Thank you, Raymond Lee, for answering my questions.

Here are some quick-fire questions:

Location: Melbourne, Victoria

Pronouns: He / Him

Relationship status: Very Single

Favourite Drink: Honey Scotch / Muscat

What type of guy are you into?  A man with beef always catches my attention

Favourite Cities/Vacation Spots: I really enjoyed visiting the bears at TBRU in Dallas; it was very hospitable. Any place where I can wander and explore at my own pace is great.

Favourite Hobby or Pastime: Anything creative.  Sewing, working around the house, and building.

Idea of a good date? I’m an old school romantic… dinner date for sure

What do you look for in a guy? Communication, sincerity, and integrity.  

Where can you find yourself? Website, Facebook, Instagram, etc. [are these links correct?]

*Instagram:  Raybearoz