Gay Dads Launch Bottoms Up Movement to Help LGBTQ+ Families Grow

23rd August 2024 John Hernandez

Patrick & Carlos Dolan, founders of (BUM) Bottoms Up Movement share the inspiration behind their brand and their mission to help LGBTQ+ parents expand their families.

For many bears and other couples in the LGBTQ+ community, the dream of growing their families is one that seems so financially out of reach that many give up on the journey before they’ve even started. And it’s easy to see why. According to US News & World Report, surrogacy costs can range from $100,000 to $225,000 while Today reports the cost of an average adoption to be between $20,000 to $45,000 in the US.

Husbands, Patrick & Carlos Dolan, can attest to these staggering figures, having faced the issue head on as they sought to expand their family.

Patrick and Carlos Dolan with their daughter Maison

“At our wedding, instead of gifts we asked for contributions to our surrogacy journey fund, but even with the generosity of family and friends and two great jobs we still had to take out a loan to be able to afford bringing our daughter into the world” said Patrick.

Eventually it all worked out and their beautiful daughter Maison, who will turn 3 this November, is currently thriving with her loving dads. Patrick and Carlos’ struggle wasn’t in vain though. It left them sensitive to the plight of other would-be parents and encouraged them to do something about it, which was how the Bottoms Up Movement (BUM) came to be.

(BUM) is a beauty, intimacy & hygiene brand with a mission to make family building affordable for members of the LGBTQ+ community by dedicating a portion of every sale to nonprofits aligned with their mission. (BUM) launched this past January with three core products: a silicone lubricant, exfoliating coffee scrub, and psyllium husk fiber supplement. As such, the company has placed an emphasis on creating a product line that speaks to the gay community, bottoms in particular, but with versatility enough to extend beyond it (more on that later).

“A minimum of 5% of our sales revenue is dedicated to nonprofits helping to make family building affordable for the LGBTQ+ community through direct grants” Patrick shared. “Right now we are partnered with Men Having Babies and HelpUsAdopt.org (which has a grant application deadline approaching September 7th).”

You’ll notice it’s not 5% of profits that (BUM) is donating, but instead a portion of all revenue generated.

“A lot of brands would limit their giving to profits, but we opted to focus on revenue because we wanted to be writing checks as soon as we could. Patrick explained. “We see the mission as the foundation to the business – it’s the reason for its existence. In addition to committing revenue, we try to leverage our marketing and customer communications to put these organizations front and center with our customers which we hope – over time – increases the amount of people in our LGBTQ+ community applying for grants and making direct private donations to these wonderful organizations.”

The idea for (BUM) came about as the couple thought about a business model that would serve the LGBTQ+ community but had the appeal to scale beyond the community at the same time. “We both thought of lube at the same time, but immediately tossed it aside because we thought it was too sexual and weren’t comfortable with it,” said Carlos.

As the couple unpacked why they weren’t comfortable with the idea, they realized that they were at an age where many of their friends and family were in the midst of family building, and so, sex was a pretty normal topic of conversation. They contemplated what was creating this sense of unease or stigma and realized it was its relation to the butt or rather, the bum.

“After a few weeks we couldn’t figure out a business model that made more sense” Patrick said. “Then one of us said out loud ‘we just need bottoms to come together and create a social movement and everyone can just get over it’. As a throwaway line we joked ‘We’ll call it the Bottoms Up Movement’. That was the moment we both looked at each other and knew we had something that was fun, approachable, but still to the point.” And thus the (BUM) Bottoms Up Movement was born.

There are currently plans to expand this highly successful line of products which include a water-based lube and a body lotion that is meant to compliment the scrub, both planned for release before the end of the year (with more products in the works for 2025).

The brand has also attracted the attention of Beauty Independent, one of the most well regarded and respected organizations in the beauty industry who have nominated (BUM) for their prestigious Beacon Award.

“Through this nomination they are making a statement to the world that our products and brand have a place in mainstream and our mission is one worth pursuing” Patrick enthused. “Make no mistake, our brand begins with and exists to serve our LGBTQ+ community, but if we are to accomplish our mission of making family building affordable for all in our community, we need allies to find value in the products and stories we tell through the brand and this recognition helps move us in that direction.”

As for the husbands themselves, Carlos and Patrick just celebrated their 5^th wedding anniversary and are approaching 10 years together and fatherhood has only served to strengthen their love and enrich their lives in ways they hadn’t dreamed possible.

“Becoming dads was something we both knew we wanted early in our relationship. Achieving that dream has been good for our marriage, it’s made us appreciate and communicate with one another so much more…There is nothing more fulfilling than the love we get from Maison – the excitement she has when we pick her up from daycare or when she falls asleep on our shoulder. Sometimes she’ll just look at us and say “Daddy, Papi, I love you so much” – there is no better feeling in the world!”