Alexander’s Midweek Movie News

The Oscars were on Sunday, and of course, all the good gays tuned in to see Lady Gaga drool over Bradley Cooper, see The Divine Miss M sing a Disney song, see what Billy Porter wore, and to watch Chris Evans, Jason Momoa and Rami Malek wear tight pants…here’s my take on the Oscars…zzzzzzz…

It was boring but got to the point.  People were upset that Green Book won Best Picture, Glenn Close but no cigar didn’t win and that there was so much Spanish being spoken.  My biggest upset was that Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Tina Fey didn’t host the whole thing. No, actually my biggest upset was that Carol Channing wasn’t shown in the Memoriam section – um, hello? Hey, at least we got the adorable Rami Malek accepting the Award with a fabulous speech.  I think the Oscar statue was taller than him.  In any case, ratings were slightly higher than last year. 

In opposite award news, Will Ferrell and John C Reilly’s Holmes and Watson swept up The Razzies by winning for Worst Picture, Worst Actor (for Reilly), Worst Director and Worst Prequel.  Congrats! 

Woody Allen isn’t giving up.  His last film was not released by Amazon and remains unseen due to alleged sexual allegations.  But, he is moving ahead with a new film set shooting in Spain.  Let’s hope everyone on set is 18 and over. 

James Bond sequel gets a working title – Shatterhand!  Huh?  Can’t wait to hear the theme song to that title.  I had my own Shatterhand when I discovered PornHub. 

In a monumental move, Rotten Tomatoes has taken off the percentage and comment section of a film until AFTER the film premieres due to internet trolls who have sabotaged films before they’ve even come out with manufactured comments and fake reviews, with Captain Marvel and Star Wars being the latest victims. 

Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn attempt to make a comeback with the release of the trailer for Dragged Across Concrete (which I thought was the title of the last season of RuPaul’s All Stars), their new film about wayward cops. 

In odd movie and casting news, Chris Hemsworth will play Hulk Hogan in a biopic.  HUH?  Just because Bohemian Rhapsody did so well this award season and Elton John biopic Rocketman is on the horizon does not mean everyone who wore spandex should get a biopic.  Where’s Richard Simmon’s biopic? 

Sleeping with the Enemy, originally starring Julia Roberts, is getting a reboot.  I thought it was a biopic about Melania Trump. 

In other reboot news, Knight Rider is still being worked on.  David Hasselhoff needs to pay bills. 

Monty Python’s Terry Gilliam has been working on his project, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, for literally decades.  Its finally seeing the light of day with Adam Driver as the lead and Jonathan Pryce as Don Quixote with the new trailer released this week.  This film has had on set issues, distribution issues and lawsuits.  After all this work, it will only be shown one night on April 10th in select theaters in the US and Canada.  WHAT???

A Quiet Place sequel will see the return of Emily Blunt and the original kids from the first film.  Let’s hope the logic of the script won’t be so quiet this time. 

Fun Fact:  James Cameron shared a picture from his private prop collection on Instagram showing that Kate Winslet’s handprint from the fogged up window in the love making scene from Titanic is still visible after all these years.  Why didn’t Leo get to press any body parts against the window?  Once again, Rose didn’t let Jack share the space.

Alexander Rodriguez

Alexander is the host of iHeartRadio/Universal Broadcasting Network's 'On the Rocks' Radio Show. He's the love child of Chelsea Handler, Johnny Carson, Graham Norton and Judy Garland and is addicted to everything entertainment.