2021 Ram 1500: “This truck has almost no flaws”

“This truck has almost no flaws.”

That quote is from the (mostly female) reviewers at U.S. News and World Report, and I couldn’t agree more. They could only find one issue (if you will): “some rivals can tow more.” Yes, I’ve had mates who are prettier and stronger and richer and who can do things better than I can…

I have always enjoyed the Ram 1500, which is celebrating its (who knows what) birthday. It’s a reliable truck. It’s a big truck. It’s a solid truck. When you think of a truck, you think of Ram (formerly Dodge Ram). You think of the 1500. Or the 2500. Or the 3500. Or bigger, assuming you have room to park it somewhere.

(Seen here is the TRX, an off-road 4×4 4WD powerhouse that is way beyond fun.)

As with any great lineup of trucks, the 1500 can pretty much come any way you like it. Starting price for the basic Tonka-truck version is $32,795 US.

Towing capacity (for those who want to know) starts at 6,150 pounds and goes up from there depending on what kind of 1500 you get. Mileage is respectable at 23 city / 33 highway but can and will vary, again depending upon what you get and how you ultimately gussie it up for the rodeo. Curb weight starts at just under two and a half tons and this little baby cub will get bigger as you like.

If it sounds like I am being vague on specifics, I am. As with any truck, the details are all yours, depending on your likes, your tastes, what your love interest of the day thinks or what your ex-wife has to say about it — and what your bank account tells you can afford.

What that means is this: If you can dream about it, items like power mirrors and heated front seats can be had for a bit more than the starting price of $32,795.

I know that sounds like a lot for a base vehicle that only gives you 18-inch wheels, A/C, a 5-inch touchscreen and trailer sway damping (which helps adjust the brakes if the Pride float goes cray while you are towing it) as standard. Keep in mind that this is a truck. A large truck. A work truck. Or as U.S. News and World Report calls it (Number 2 for 2021), a Full-Sized Pickup Truck.

Which means this: Sometimes when you have a pickup, you have to pay for extras, like cocktails. Or takeaway. Or a motor lodge. And a Lyft when the pickup breaks down. Same difference here.

As always, son, make sure you have a place to park this beast. This beauty is a pleasure but it takes a lot of room. If you will not be using it for work, well… you might want to rethink the purchase. 

Trust me, everyone in the neighborhood and in your rolodex will know you have a truck, and a sturdy one at that. And suddenly, you will be their best friend come the end of the month when the rent is due and they are a little short on cash.

That’s when you need to take a beauty like the 2021 Ram 1500 and go someplace where you and the Ram, to be aptly known as “The Beauty and The Beast”, can shine in all your before, current and afterglow. And no one can find you.

And save on petrol.