2018 Lincoln Navigator 4×4 Black Label: Hot, Hot, Hot

Car and Driver magazine refers to the 2018 Lincoln Navigator 4×4 Black Label (try taking that all in your mouth without choking) as “three tons of speedy, hedonistic SUV pleasure.”

Calling it a land yacht for those who believe in the “gaud-is-god” mantra, the boys at C&D find this vehicle to be the luxury living room from Risky Business where Tom Cruise danced around in his underwear and gave one big middle finger to everyone and everything around him.  Yeah, that fits, but I like to take a bit more of an academic approach to it. That said, I truly did feel like I owned the road in this adorable beast!

For starters, this is indeed one of a handful of cars built for bears, because honestly and truly, there is plentyof passenger room. Call us bears what you will – king size, fatso, two-ton Tessie, gorgeous – we can all get into the Lincoln Navigator.  And the 4×4 Black Label is like a very stylish pair of skinny jeans that comes with a smidge of style and a lot of bling that really does look good in daylight or garage light. The Navigator, and its counterpart the Cadillac Escalade, where meant to be big, rolling, urban, party vehicles, perfect for bears because of the interior and because of the prowess extended on the road. Nothing is to gaudy or extreme for the Navigator Black Label, so not only will you and your friends fit, it will fit you.  It’s a rolling party, so be careful as you approach police just hanging out on the side of the road.

Those of you who know your trucks know the 450-hp, twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter EcoBoost V-6 engine that comes standard in the Black Label is the same engine that Ford put into its F-150 Raptor.  There is power to be had here, and that means one must use it carefully.  There were many times while driving it that it felt like I rolled over something, a I wondered, ‘hmm, was that something that might have been breathing?’ The curb weight of 6,142 pounds doesn’t really allow you to feel any crunch that might occur underneath your tires.  Just sayin’.

This vehicle is a lot of fun, but where you might have to start being an adult when considering this vehicle for purchase is when you think about where you will park this hedonistic giant.  Its wheelbase is 122 ½  inches (try taking that all in one breath). That means that without a good-sized dedicated parking space, and those spaces cost money, that might just kick this car/truck/boy toy off your ‘possible’ list. Its width is 80 inches and its height is 76.3 inches, so this is no shrinking violet.  Just where will you park this? Be sure to think of the upkeep and maintenance before you say I Do.

Yeah, sure, this is a fantasy vehicle that maybe none of us in the bear world will get near.  But we can dream, can’t we? Because you never know when for that brief minute at the nudie resort in a sun-drenched town, magic might happen, even for a night.

And its name just might be Black Label.

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