When Horror Meets Porn: Stan’s must-see titles for Valentine’s Day
Well, it looks like we are all going to be celebrating Valentine’s Day indoors this year — and what better way to celebrate by yourself or with that special someone than with porn?!
I’ll do ya one better though- how about watching porno horror movies?! That’s right gentlemen, I’ve done all the wrist-aching research to come up with this partial list of hardcore gay porn movies that take place within a horror storyline.
I mean, listen — we all know that the best date nights are when you go see a scary movie. It gets the adrenaline going. Your heart rate increases. You grab onto your date and cuddle close together to escape the monsters on screen. All this is done with the hopes that you might end the night banging. So, my thought is why don’t we cut to the chase and just watch a scary movie with graphic sexual content between screams? Your heart rate will never go down, but you might! You can thank me later!
LA Zombie (2010) Dark Alley Media; Directed by Bruce LaBruce
Perhaps LaBruce’s most infamous film stars the legendary Francois Sagat as the ‘zombie’. Only this zombie doesn’t eat your brains, he eats your ass; then fucks it. Francois’ character wanders around LA and upon discovering dead bodies; he has sex with them and brings them temporarily back to life. It is never made clear if these are the delusions of a madman, or if Francois is an alien or an actual zombie. There is a lot of gore in this one. Fair warning. I absolutely love it. The movie also features Adam Killian, Wolf Hudson, Matthew Rush and Erik Rhodes.
Vampire of Budapest (1995) Kristen Bjorn
Inspired by Anne Rice and the Hungarian (Transylvanian) legends of old this is your standard Dracula seduction story just with lots of group sex and multiple money shots as is the Kristen Bjorn way. The late, great Arpad Miklos is in this one too.
Halloweiner: Friday the Fuckteenth (2009) ASG Entertainment; Directed by Angel Skye
A group of boys go camping by the lake where they are picked off one by one by a hooded and mysterious killer.
Bonesaw (2006) Adonis Pictures, Directed by Jett Blakk
As you might have guessed this one is based on the movie Saw. A guy named Lee is our protagonist and he must complete Bonesaw’s games in order to stay alive. Often times he needs to provide gentlemen with ‘the little death’ in a predetermined time before Bonesaw comes at them with the big death. Good times.
There you have it — four legitimate porno horror films featuring violence, death and sex! It’s important to note these aren’t porn horror parodies. These films are sexually explicit horror movies.
Now, go and have fun!
Oh and my new Episode of “Stan The Mechanic” – Birth Rite! is out on HereTV Use code Stan666 for a free trial month membership and check all three episodes of Stan the Mechanic!
