America’s Favorite Couple Finalists Doug and Dan Kolbe Open Up About Family, Fatherhood, and Chicago’s Bear Scene

Doug and Dan Kolbe didn’t set out to become a headline. What began with a bold, unsolicited message on social media (and a promise that sounded more like a joke than a plan) grew into a marriage, a family, and a life built across Cleveland, Philipsburg, and now Chicago’s thriving bear community. Ten years, four years of marriage, and one incredible son later, the couple entered the America’s Favorite Couple contest almost as a lark, drawn in by a shared love of Jeff Goldblum. But their story, and what they hope to do with the prize, says far more about family, resilience, and choosing to show up every day than any single message ever could. We caught up with Doug and Dan to talk about their journey into fatherhood, what balance looks like for two gay dads, and what winning would mean for their son.

Richard Jones: Hi Guys, Where are you from, where are you now?

Doig & Dan: It’s fascinating because our roots began in two very different places—Cleveland, Ohio (Doug), and Philipsburg, Pennsylvania (Dan)—but we have both lived a life all over the United States and globally—however today, we’re proud to call Chicago, Illinois, home. Known as the Bear Capital of the United States, Chicago has given us a vibrant, diverse community where we can embrace who we are, celebrate our family, and build this next chapter of our lives together.

RJ: And What do you all do?

Doug: I previously served as a Civil Rights Diplomat with the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), where my work centered on advancing equal opportunity, civil rights, and inclusive workplace practices. Following the agency’s shutdown under the current administration, I transitioned into consulting, where I continue to apply my experience by advising on Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) and civil rights matters, including compliance concerns and potential violations.

Dan: I currently work as a Business Development Representative for a Fortune 500 company, where I focus on cultivating strategic relationships, identifying new business opportunities, and supporting initiatives that contribute to the company’s continued growth and success.

RJ: How long have you been together and how did you meet?

D&D: Our love story started with a bold social media message: “JD isn’t my real name, but you should know my name, Doug Garza, because I’m going to marry you someday.”

What sounded like confidence (or a very ambitious pickup line) became our reality. More than 10 years later, we’ve built a beautiful life together, celebrating 4 years of marriage, and having the privilege of raising an incredible son. Sometimes the best love stories begin with a single message—and someone brave enough to send it. 

D&D I see you are amazing parents, can you share anything about why you chose to become parents, and what that journey looked like. 

Doug: It’s interesting because parenthood was something we both wanted long before we found each other. My journey began first. Before I ever met Dan, I made the decision to become a parent on my own, adopting Jadon when he was one years old and beginning that chapter of my life as a single dad. In those early days, I was fortunate to have my mom step in as a live-in nanny and an incredible source of support as I learned what it meant to be a father.

Then Dan came into our lives, and my understanding of family grew in a way I hadn’t anticipated. He didn’t simply fall in love with me, he embraced the life I had already begun building and, most importantly, embraced my son with the same commitment, attention, and unconditional love he would give a child biologically his own.

Through our life together, Dan has reinforced something I now believe deeply: family isn’t defined solely by blood or biology. It’s defined by who chooses to show up. It’s the people who are there for the ordinary days and the difficult ones, who celebrate the milestones, provide comfort when things are hard, and continue choosing one another again and again.

What began as my journey into single fatherhood ultimately became our journey as a family. And I think that is one of the most beautiful parts of our story, our family wasn’t created in the traditional way, but there has never been anything less than genuine about the love that built it.

RJ: What are the Joys of being fathers you never expected?

D&D: One of the greatest and most unexpected joys of fatherhood has been watching our values, lessons, and even pieces of our personalities take root in our son over the years. We may not share a biological connection, but that has never defined the depth of our bond. There is something incredibly moving about watching him grow into his own person, developing his unique personality, discovering friendship, forming his own perspectives, and learning how to navigate the world around him. As fathers, we get the privilege of helping give him the foundation, while also stepping back and watching him decide who he wants to become. That has been one of the most rewarding parts of parenthood.

RJ: What is life like now – how do you balance life and the hard work of parenting?

D&D: We get this question all the time, especially from friends in the LGBTQ+ community who are considering becoming parents.

The biggest change is that life has become much more structured and intentional. We were organized before becoming parents, but raising a child brings an entirely different level of planning, responsibility, and purpose to your everyday life. At the same time, we’ve been very intentional about maintaining our identities—not only as fathers and husbands, but also as gay men. We believe becoming parents should add another dimension to who you are, rather than require you to give up the person you were before.

Of course, there have been a few sacrifices to the “party gods” along the way! Our priorities have changed, spontaneous nights out require a little more coordination, and our lives certainly revolve around our family in ways they didn’t before. But we wouldn’t change a single aspect of the family we’ve created.

And when Dad and Daddy need a little time to reconnect, recharge, and occasionally remember that we still know how to have a good time, Grandma comes to the rescue. That allows us to enjoy some much-needed couple time and, every now and then, escape to one of the bear events we enjoy around the world.

For us, the key has always been balance. Parenthood hasn’t erased who we were; it has expanded who we are. We can be devoted fathers, loving husbands, proud gay men, travelers, friends, and members of our community all at the same time. Our family may require more planning these days, but it has also brought a depth, joy, and sense of purpose to our lives that we wouldn’t trade for anything.

RJ: What do you hope winning this competition will do for your family?

D&D: It’s funny because we entered the contest almost entirely on a whim. We’re both huge Jeff Goldblum fans, and when we learned that part of the grand prize included the opportunity to meet Jeff and his wife and have dinner with them, we thought, “How incredible would that be?” The experience and the story we’d get to tell afterward was what initially caught our attention. The prize money was certainly an exciting bonus, but it was never what motivated us to enter.

That said, if we were fortunate enough to win the $20,000, there would be no question about where it would go: every dollar would be invested in our son’s future. As parents, one of our greatest joys and responsibilities is giving him every opportunity we can to learn, grow, explore the world, and ultimately become the person he wants to be.

We would use the prize to support his education, expand the resources and experiences available to him, and create an even stronger foundation for whatever dreams he chooses to pursue. For us, that would transform a fun contest we entered on a whim into something with a lasting impact on the person who matters most to us.

The dinner would make for an unforgettable evening, and $20,000 is an extraordinary gift—but knowing that we used that opportunity to invest in our son and his future would be the part of winning that stays with our family for a lifetime.

If you want to see this amazing Bear Family win this competition – vote here – and if you are voting on 8/11 your vote is double counted!! So don’t waste time – vote now.