Alexander’s Midweek Movie News

Rumors circled this week that Paramount wanted to take a gay love scene featuring nudity out of the new Elton John biopic, Rocketman.  The director of the film cleared things up and said it was not true.  So the questions remains, will Rocketman remain cut or uncut?  

Not only is Joaquin Phoenix playing the iconic Joker, he’s also playing Jesus in the upcoming film, Mary Magdalene – also starring Rooney Mara.  Please Joaquin, walk on water, not all over the script. 

Blumhouse might be rebooting The Craft – this made me pee my pants.  I LOVE THIS FILM.  Since we are doing a lot of female versions of male films, let’s get a cute young gay version of The Craft.  I mean, it was kind of already done with the parody film The Shaft. 

In “Twinks Take Over the World” news, The Masters of the Universe live action film may cast Noah Centineo as He-Man.  What?  How about He-Might need some protein shakes. 

In other gay film editing news, China has removed all references to Freddie Mercury’s homosexuality in their screening version of Bohemian Rhapsody.  Their version of the film runs 22 minutes and 32 seconds. 

The new Scooby Doo animated film has cast Zac Efron as Fred and Amanda Seyfried as Daphne.  Please don’t give Daphne a song, I still can’t get over Amanda in Mamma Mia Number 2.  And I do mean it was NUMBER 2. 

Robert Pattinson has been cast in Christopher Nolan’s new film – no title, no plot, no nothing has been revealed about the project.  The film will also star John David Washington from BlacKkKlansman (who is Denzel Washington’s kid if you couldn’t tell by his voice and his bored face, just like his dad, at every awards show).. 

Bill & Ted 3 will be released in the summer of 2020, some social media clips of the two original stars, Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter have surfaced, showing them having a great time.  Um…Keanu hasn’t aged a day and Alex, well hasn’t quite fared as well.  Maybe Ted finds Bill in some time warp and takes him back to the past to get some botox.  The original actor who played Death is back and the film is called Bill & Ted Face the Music.  Sounds like a bad VH1 film to me. 

It is so odd to me that Ben Affleck ends up in every week’s movie news – clearly, he’s having some issues in the entertainment world but he’s still making news.  He stated this week that he intends to make a sequel to The Accountant.  Thrilling.  He also states that he hasn’t been asked to come film the Jay & Silent Bob reboot, even though Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek have.  Girl, you got problems if Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek have more star power than you do. 

Did you like Toni Collette’s horror film, Hereditary?  It had mixed reviews – I still don’t know if I liked it or hated it.  But the director is returning this summer with what he calls “a depraved version of The Wizard of Oz”, titled Midsommar.  I’m all about it! 

The trailer is out for the Dora the Explorer film!  Looks appropriately kid friendly and glossy.  No word yet on if Diego finally comes out during the film.   

The Toxic Avenger is getting a reboot!  Nothing much, not even casting, is known at this time.  But, we do know that the original director and producers will be producing. 

Netflix is developing a modern retelling of The Three Musketeers.  I’d be happy for them to reboot the candy bar – does anyone actually eat it?  Its like chocolate for sad people. 

Black Panther and Creed hunk Michael B Jordan will play Methuselah, a 400 year-old ageless man, in Warner Bros. new fantasy film.  Does that make him a hot daddy now?  WOOF.

In other Michael B Jordan news, he will go behind the camera to produce a new monster film, with the director of Kong: Skull Island in the director’s chair. 

Jordan Peele’s US, a follow up to his film Get Out, kicked ass at the box office, becoming the highest box office debut weekend for an original horror film.  It was estimated to make $40 million, but it made $70 million.  Wowzers.  Critics love the film, but if you were to read my Facebook feed, most of my friends in the business hated it and said it was overblown and overrated.  Did you see it?  What was your take?

James McAvoy wants to play The Riddler in a DC film.  As long as he has to wear green tights, I’m all for it. 

Fun Fact:  Danny Devito screen tested, or rather audio tested as the voice of Pikachu in the new Pokemon/Pikachi movie.  It didn’t go so well.