2025 Chevy Tahoe: Large and In-Charge, Happy and Peppy
Assuming you have the room and need the room, the 2025 Chevrolet Tahoe is that Hugh Jass SUV that actually maneuvers well but takes up more room than you’d think.
This is not a vehicle for the faint of heart. It is The Bold and the Beautiful, The Young and the Restless, hardly The Life of a Showgirl, at least not without your superstar NFL tight end fiancé.
Know upfront that most 2025 Tahoe trims have V8 engines, which means they drink a lot of gas. Average mileage can vary, anywhere from 17 to 20 mpg. But the base 5.3-liter engines offer 355 horsepower and 383 pound-feet of torque.
Trust me, you’ll need all that power to get this behemoth moving.
Once inside, the style is both comfortable and rugged. It isn’t dripping with luxury, but you as a Bear, you will feel at home. And you might feel like doing some heavy-duty work. And maybe not.
My husband Paul, after riding shotgun in it for a bit, describes this year’s Tahoe as “surprisingly comfortable and well-appointed,” and I do feel that applies.
Space is always important to us Bears, and with this big boy, you’ll get almost 73 cubic feet of space with the 3rd row of seats up, and almost 123 cubic feet with the 2nd row down. Heck, you could even sleep in it if you so desire (bring a comfy mattress and pillow).
When was the last time you got almost 18-inches every time you stepped up?
The infotainment display that is front and center of your view measures 17.7-inches and is so nice and large that it might seem a bit distracting. In fact, just driving a vehicle like this can be a distraction from reality, so please, pay attention. Always. Please.
… because just as with your immune-compromised friends, where you are more of a danger to them than they are to you, as a driver of a beast such as the Tahoe, you are more of a danger to those around you than they are to you. Your insurer and the cops won’t like hearing that the object you ran over sounded more like a hard taco than something with bones.
I tested the midrange RST trim with 4-Wheel Drive. This one had a 3.0-liter inline-6 turbo diesel, offering 305 horses. Another option on some trims is 6.2-liter V8 offering 420 horses. Truly, the sky’s the limit on how you want your Tahoe configured.
Just make sure you 1) have the money to take care of it every month, and 2) have the room for it. Just like the girl who sang I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, it’s all fun and games until you have to bathe it and pay the monthly insurance.
Are you un-poop-u-lar? Do you pop-out at parties?
I’ve known several Bears who pop-out at parties, me-self included. That’s just how Bears are, even if we are popular but still poop out at parties. That’s because we really are indeed happy peppy people.
This year marks the 73rd anniversary of the Vita-meat-a-veg-amin episode of I Love Lucy, a classic that all gays should know about (even if not have performed privately). Here’s how Lucille Ball did it back in 1952 (contrary to poop-u-lar belief, I was not around back then), and here’s how Will & Grace did it this century.
And for all you Betty White fans, she did a real commercial for a similar product call Geritol, and here is that piece of history.
A close friend of mine once commented how (after seeing the Bears playing ‘the bingo’) the older bears were more like the Geritol Bears. Yeah, well, maybe, but I don’t poop out at parties anymore and not because I take my Vitameatavegamin.
These days, most soirees start well after my bedtime.
And I’m not sure the charge nurse will give me a pass until midnight.
