2024 Mercedes GLS 450: Girth, Mirth, All That Makes You Happy!

If you are into really big boys, the 2024 Mercedes Benz AMG GLS is the biggest SUV (and thus, the biggest consumer Benz – almost) available in the fleet to take you away to wherever you want to go….

… in style and comfort so you can literally plow over anything – safely, of course. 

Starting at a cool (or hot) $87K US, the GLS 450 is a big-arse SUV that truly is the ultimate in style (think of the most comfortable chairs at your favor cigar lounge and pretend they really are the thrones in Game of Thrones), competing directly with well-known luxury liners like the BMW X7 (the biggest in that fleet) and just about anything Range Rover cranks out.

375 horses. 369 pound-feet of torque. All from a 3.0-liter turbo.  (Other GLS models offer V8s, like the GLS 580.)

Mercedes says the GLS 450 can hold up to seven people (translated: five Bears, maybe). When it’s just you and your hubby, put both the third and the second row of seats down and you will get almost 85 cubic feet of cargo space for all your cra …… cargo.

Handling is indeed superb.  In the not-too-distant past, bulk and All-Wheel Drive made for rough handling, much like many the rugged date we’ve all had (think Travis Kelce’s brother).  Not anymore.  This year’s combo platter of bulk and style and smoothness on any road are well-matched with the 2024 GLS 450.

The luxury is both overstated and understated, as you would expect. Driving this big honker is indeed a breeze – and a treat. My only challenge was parking, and when you live in the gayborhood, isn’t that always a challenge?

My hus-bear Paul and I took this gentle giant for a drive in the Colorado Rockies for the most recent holiday and truly had a blast because it handled so well. (These photos are not from our winter drive.) Smooth composure. And steady handling – which is what you would expect for the hefty price that now, sadly, doesn’t even qualify as a down payment on a gay condo (ya know, one that doesn’t need help from a reality / makeover TV show) anymore…..

I am droning on here. 

This a great car, Bears. Price is really this only obstacle. I suspect insurance for the GLS would also be a bit prohibitive as well, depending on your past smash-ups.  Those are always things to consider when you are dreaming, unfortunately.

Nonetheless, if you’ve got the money, honey, or at least access to resources, I would definitely give the 2024 GLS 450 a spin.  Go ahead, make yourself feel like a prince.

No one needs to know that you are truly feeling like a princess!