United Airlines pilot arrested for standing naked in his hotel room window

Well, bears, this is what it has come to in Trump’s America:

If you pay for your hotel room and feel like running around naked and have the gall to stand at your window and someone just happens to see you and gets offended, that person can call the cops and have you arrested for lewd and lascivious conduct.

That’s exactly what happened to a United Airlines pilot right before Christmas at Denver International Airport. Captain Andrew Collins, a 22-year veteran of United, was just showering and walking around naked in his hotel like we bears usually do, and to boot, he was on his cell phone talking to a colleague about business.

Naturally, he was standing at his floor-to-ceiling tenth-floor window, which just happened to overlook the Denver airport terminal where thousands of people catching flights could see him in all his splendor (he must be quite impressive if they could see his manhood ten stories up). Someone got offended and called police, so the police figured out which room it was and raided the room.  Here is the video – on YouTube– of his arrest, released to the public for all the see:

The initial complaint said that Collins was ‘touching’ himself but apparently that wasn’t true. Once Collins got to court, it was hard to tell just what the complaint was, other than someone thought a naked man was offensive (and yet somehow a woman breastfeeding in public is not). Collins is still on leave from United Airlines pending the outcome of this legal debacle.

So the moral of the story, bears, is this: you may have paid for the hotel room and you may have a right to run around naked it in, but if someone from down below or far away thinks she/he sees you naked, even if they use binoculars, they can call the cops and have you arrested for just for wearing your birthday suit because, well, it offends them.

Welcome to America!