Kyle chats with Mr. Kristofer of the BDSM lifestyle channel ‘Watts the Safeword’

6th July 2021 Kyle Jackson

Communication is key. Whether it be a sexual relationship, a romantic relationship, a friendship or a working relationship, everyone should have a way to communicate their needs to their partner.

In the Kink/BDSM community, this is called using a “safe word.” A safe word can be anything — red, apple, orange, kittens, teddy bear. It’s a word partners in a BDSM relationship or scene designate to signal that sex or play becomes too rough or painful.

In an age where people are becoming more aware and knowledgable about the rules of consent, safe words are a very good practice. Watts the Safeword is an all inclusive LGBTQ+ sex education and BDSM lifestyle media YouTube channel run by Pup Amp and Mr. Kristofer. They focus on LGBTQ+ inclusive content that aims to break down stigmas surrounding sex, while educating viewers in a fun and inclusive way.

I spoke with Mr. Kristofer, co-host and co-creator of the hilarious sex education channel about how Watts the Safeword came about and the importance of BDSM education.

Kyle Jackson: Can you give us some background on you and your involvement with the kink/BDSM/bear communities?

Mr. Kristofer: I started out as a young Kinkster in San Francisco working for Drummer Magazine back in 1992. By 1994, I started my own video production company and started directing all the BEAR Magazine movies for Brush Creek Media as director Steve Landess.

This is when my love and fascination with burly bears began. It was a new subset of gay men that was finally getting the recognition they deserved. I was very excited about it! Plus I’ve always been attracted to big, burly hairy men since I was in my teens. I’ve been directing and starring in Bear and fetish movies ever since as Kristofer Weston.

KJ: Can you tell us a bit about Watts the Safeword?

MK: Watts the Safeword was started by my pup 6 years ago as a positive sex education channel on YouTube. Pup Amp and I talk about the kink and sex education you were never taught as you were growing up.

Pup Amp’s editing style and quick wit really make the topics fun and easy to digest. He brings a younger fresh perspective to each topic and I tend to be the older, gruffer opinionated Bear Daddy that mainly gets made fun of in a loving way.

It has now expanded to podcasts and now Twitch on WattsTheSafeword.com (which is a whole new world of gaming for me). I learn something new every day!

KJ: How did the idea for Wattsthesafeword come about?

MK: Pup Amp and his friend Pup Bolt started the show in Seattle as avid fans of the YouTube platform. They thought it would be an easy way to educate and entertain about kink related topics to the new queer generation coming up. Because both their names had an electrical theme, they came up with WATTS THE SAFEWORD as the title. It just kind of grew from there as more people became aware of the show.

As it’s grown and Amp moved to San Francisco, I’ve been roped in to help come up with topics and provide history and background on some of these topics that the younger generation hasn’t lived through. They don’t teach queer history in schools, so it’s the perfect vehicle to share what the gay movement has survived, fought, and lived through the past 40 years with the younger generation.

KJ: Can you talk a bit about what your kinks are and what you consider yourself most seasoned in?

MK: My favorite kinks are bondage, impact play, cum control, and role play. As a pro-Dom I’m quite versed in heavy BDSM dynamics thanks to some great mentors along the way.

I am also a true 50/50 switch (which confuses some people), so can easily be the in control Dom or groveling sub depending on the dynamics and chemistry I have with who I’m paying with. You just have to be good at one or the other, and I’ll take it from there! A big hairy man playing with my nipples and deeply kissing me will make me drop to my knees every single time!

KJ: What kinks or most popular, or what do you find people want to learn about the most?

MK: That’s a hard question because everyone is so different, but I’d say a commonality would be bondage or some sort of restraint. There is an inherent trust that goes with getting restrained that is bonding and exciting. So, lots of people are interested in learning the ropes so to speak.

We have lots of rope tutorials on our channel ranging from simple to advanced. But it doesn’t stop there! With over 256 episodes now we have covered: Spanking, shaving, polyamory, feet, gags, douching, fisting, nipples, littles, ABDL, puppies, kittens and BEARS!!! Oh my! And the list goes on…

KJ: What do you think is most important to learn about or teach?

MK: I think we really drive home almost every episode that consent and communication are important in every aspect of sex and BDSM dynamics. Education also is necessary as you attempt to explore edgier kinks and obviously always have a Safeword!

KJ: Can you share your views about whether or not you feel kink should be allowed at Pride?

MK: OH Jeesh! We have been having this same conversation for over 30 years now. We did a whole video and podcast about it directing this argument in detail. But basically my view is that when we start banning certain aspects of our community like kinkcter, drag queens, and all because we want to white wash and conform to a worldistic acceptable norm, we have lost sight of what we are proud of.

I’m proud to be a Bear, I’m proud to be a gay Leather Man and I don’t care if that makes you uncomfortable or not. We usually used to chant “we are HERE, we are QUEER, get used to it.” We didn’t care if it made heterosexuals uncomfortable. So we shouldn’t start hiding who we are at our very own celebrations.

PRIDE is about no longer hiding! We are literally celebrating how proud we are of it! So, let your kink flag fly and don’t yuck someone else’s yum!