Brisbears Sash First Nonbinary Queensland Bear, Wesley Vanderwolf

The Brisbears recently hosted their annual Bear Week Northern Exposure where they sashed a new Mr. Bear Queensland, Wesley Vanderwolf, who happens to be nonbinary.

We always strive to be inclusive in our coverage and our language here at Bear World so my first question to Wesley was if I should call the title Mx. Bear Queensland to be more gender inclusive and their answer really struck me:

“I’m very comfortable with the Mr. Bear title. I’m hoping to use my title to show that there can be infinite ways to be a man that aren’t expressed with toxic masculinity!”

Their response set the tone for an open and wonderful interview which you will find below.  

BWM: Can you tell us a bit about your background? Including name, where you are from and current city of residency?

Wesley Vanderwolf (WV): My name is Wesley, but my friends call me Wez . I’m 47 years old. I was born in Canberra (Ngunawal country), Australia’s capital city. My family moved to the western suburbs of Sydney (Dharug country) when I was 8, then to the small town of Wellington (Wiradjuri country), central west New South Wales when I was 12. I moved back to western Sydney at 14, then started a Hairdressing apprenticeship in Inner Sydney (Gadigal country) and moved there at 15, ending up living in an LGBTQIA+ youth refuge run by Twenty10, a Queer youth support agency that’s still running in Sydney. Sadly, the home/refuge no longer exists. I moved back and forth between Sydney and Melbourne (Naarm) from 2000 to 2017 and eventually to Brisbane (Meanjin) in 2019, where I currently reside.

BWM: What drew you to the bear community?

WV: In the 90s I kind of rebelled against the culture of the manicured body that was heavily marketed to gay male identifying humans. I did it all for a while. Solarium tans, shaving my body and low carb diets! I just found it a bit of a waste of time, so I stopped removing my body hair and obsessing over my food and desire for 6 pack abs. I had more time, and I started attracting different men who seemed to have less hang ups and were more adventurous, if you catch my drift *wink*. Fast forward to the pandemic and I found myself alone in a new city. Whenever the restrictions allowed, I would go along to the local bear events and made some great friends and started getting involved in as many of the local queer community events as possible. I ended up with an amazing and diverse social network! 

BWM: Tell us about your local bear scene and some of your favorite places/ events to attend.

WV: The local scene in Brisbane/Meanjin is very tight knit with a strong sense of community. It’s a creative melting pot of the Performing arts where Drag, Burlesque, Kink and Sideshow all meld and work together to create a much more vibrant scene than you’d expect for a smaller city. The Sportsman Hotel in Spring Hill is my spiritual home. They provide space for BrisBears, Bootco, the male identifying kink and leather group, Hellfire, a gender inclusive kink group, and QPAH, the Pups and Handlers group to have monthly gatherings in the downstairs Bunker Bar. Upstairs you’ll find a more casual bar with a pool table and a jukebox on the left as you enter, and a Drag Bar and Bistro to the right. Many of Brisbane’s best drag performers have been discovered in the annual Queer Sister Smackdown competition, which kicks off in April every Thursday till a winner is crowned about 10 weeks later. The food is great there as well! The Beat Megaclub and the Wickham Hotel are staples in the Queer nightlife scene as well!

BWM: How was your experience competing? What was the process like? What was your favorite part?

WV: I had a lot of fun competing and attending the events in the lead up in our Bear week, Northern Exposure. The picnic was a fun time, where I got to meet the interstate bears and share my wig collection for some fun photos. A few people got a little too attached and I had to snatch them back at the end of the day. I enjoyed the whole experience of competing. I loved sharing my experiences and what being a bear means to me. I did a fun little Drag Queen to King reveal in my talent round!

BWM: Tell us about your platform. What was the issue you campaigned on or addressed during the competition?

WV:  I chose to campaign for 2 organisations. Firstly, Sisters Inside, who support women and the families of women and gender diverse folks in prison and people who have been released from prison. Secondly, The Butterfly Foundation, who support people struggling with body dysmorphia and/or eating disorders. I think this is definitely something that contemporary Gay culture can have a negative effect on. That’s why I’m so thankful for the Bear community, but I still feel like it’s something many Bears can still struggle with.

BWM: What does it mean to you to be the first nonbinary winner of this title?

WV: I feel like it’s great progress and an awesome way to show the limitless ways to be a Bear or be a part of the Bear community. I hope that it shows other queer male identifiers that you don’t necessarily need to fit the binary to be welcome in the Bear community. After all, the gender of the baby bear in Goldilocks is unspecified!

BWM: Please tell us about your experience as a nonbinary bear in the community?

WV: It’s a great way to find your people within the community! The idea that all not male identifying people need to be masculine can be a bit of a sticking point for some. I had an experience recently where someone was flirting with me and someone told him that I did drag so he told me he “didn’t do drag queens” and then just stared at me from afar for the rest of the night. Some folks have treated me as though I’m somehow less than them for wearing make-up or being more in touch with my femininity. A friend who is a much more accomplished Drag queen was told by a punter when they were out of drag that they weren’t welcome at Bear events. This is definitely not the opinion of the BrisBears committee, by the way. There’s definitely a good percentage of Bears who are more curious and accepting. There’s also a great many who don’t feel like they fit on the Gender binary. It’s not as new a concept as people believe! My gay “Dads” had a copy of the first edition The Joy of Gay Sex, which features photos of some beary types… Anyway,  it also described the concept of two spirits, and how queer people have an opportunity to experience gender from both masculine and feminine angles. Even at the age of 16, this really resonated with me. The book was first published in 1977.

BWM: What are your goals for your title year? Where will you be appearing?

WV: I travel to Sydney (Gadigal) and Melbourne (Naarm) regularly with work, so I plan on dropping in on the Harbour City Bears Sunday Social in Sydney. When I visit Melbourne, I’ll drop into the Vic Bears home, The Laird for the Sunday Social there. I’m looking into a trip to Perth (Boorloo) at some point before the Mr Bear Australasia comp, Southern Hibearnation hosted by VicBears in Melbourne. I’ll be at The Sportsman Hotel in Brisbane (Meanjin) quite often! BrisBears are hosting NYE there and we’re planning to put on a bit of a show!

I’ll be putting together a couple of fundraising events over the title year to raise money for The Butterfly Project and Sisters Inside. I really just want to keep living well and be proud of who I am and inspire others to do the same. I hope I can show other gender curious or gender diverse bears that there is space for them and to continue to create as inclusive a space as possible within the BrisBears community and maybe beyond.

 I’m open to go wherever the sash takes me!

BWM: Where can we find you? Websites? Social Media?

WV: You can follow me on Facebook at Mr Bear Qld and @cheribobbyns on Instagram. You can also find me behind the chair at my little inclusive Hair/Barber Shop here in Brisbane (Meanjin) called Hair of the Wolf @hair_ofthewolf on Instagram and Facebook.