Alone Time Research from Dr Tuggs!
Dr. Tuggs takes alone time seriously. So seriously, in fact, that they assembled a dedicated team of self-funded, self-lubed researchers at the Gentleman’s Lotion Science Foundation for Alone Time Research (GLSFATR… yeah, just go with it) to investigate a question that has long plagued the Bear community:
Where’s the best place to knock one out?
Our highly qualified team (read: one guy in a lab coat with a lot of field experience) surveyed, tested, and tugged their way through a long list of potential solo spots. After extensive “hands-on” research, the GLSFATR team is proud to share their Top 5 Solo Locations for Bears. Disagree? Got a better one? We want to hear it. And yes, there may be lotion in it for you.
1. The Woods. More specifically, The Woods Campground, where nature meets natural urges. Whether it’s a late-night stroll or a mid-morning tent session, there’s always a bear finding his moment. Some prefer privacy. Others? Well, let’s just say alone is a flexible term.
2. Hotel Rooms. Yes, your basic hotel room will do just fine, but if you’re at the Island House Hotel in Key West, you know what’s up. With their set up for alone time in your room, or even in their special location the “Red Room”, alone time can take on a whole new meaning here. And if you’re headed to Key West Bear Weekend this October, maybe bring an extra bottle of Gentleman’s Lotion. (You’re welcome.)
3. The Office Bathroom. Is it risky? Yes. Is it resourceful? Also yes. Just grab a folder, look stressed, and disappear for 7–12 minutes. No one will ask questions, and when you return with a clearer head and better attitude, it’ll seem like you just solved a major workflow issue. Technically… you did.
4.Your Couch. Roommate’s out. Partner’s away. TV’s on. You’re in. Stream some BearFilms to the big screen, reach for your Gentleman’s Lotion, and give yourself the solo staycation you deserve.
5. Camping Trip. You and your bear buds are on a camping trip. This reminds you of all those camping movies from SeattleDad! He goes camping a lot. So it’s easy to think of that in nature even if your phone is out of power. Your Memory never runs out of battery!
Got a better spot? Prove it.
Think the GLSFATR team missed a prime tug zone? Got a story that deserves to be in the field notes? We want to hear from you.
Send your best solo session location (and a good story to go with it) to: bearworldmag@grayjonesmedia.com
Use the subject line: DTATLC Entry (Dr. Tuggs Alone Time Location Competition — we swear we tried to make it sound cooler)
If your story gets published, we’ll reach out – and yes, you might just score a bottle of Gentleman’s Lotion. No pics needed. Just the words. And the glory.
